How to Dance???

This is me, pretending to be a hawk. These are my friends, wondering why they're still friends with me. 

Post-prom I have realized that I am probably not a very good dancer, since my "dancing" involves moving my butt from side to side and pantomime-singing to the song that's playing. Since I don't have the core strength to move my hips like a Polynesian dancer, nor do I have the coordination or attitude to bust out the cat-daddy, I am left with scant options.

1) The Pump and Jump

Jump up and down while pumping your fist in the air to the beat of the music (or not!). This is your all-purpose white man dance, appropriate for Bar Mitzvahs and the club, alike.

2) The Seizure

Tense up you body. Now flail, flail, flail!Particularly good for dubstep, or the pulsing beat of neurons misfiring.

3) The Chicken Dance

I'm pretty sure you know this one. Flap your arms like an idiot and wiggle your butt to that pumping beat. This dance is a cult classic, but be warned: dancing like this in public could make you look like a social outcast.

4) The Twerk

Do this one against a wall or a guy's crotch; you're still not Miley Cyrus.

5) When all else fails, just move your body to the music like no one is watching (except we're all watching and totally judging you). 

This is my date.  He had pneumonia.