Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Do re (it's all about) mi

Here's your joke for the day: choir concerts are so fun! Did you laugh? Oops turns out I'm a choir kid, so technically I'm not really allowed to make that joke. 

But I feel like there are really only five types of people who join choir, and the rest of the school's population does something normal like band or orchestra. Choir just attracts crazy. 

If you've never been to choir, here are a few of the ridiculous kids you are bound to encounter: 

The musical theater nut always knows the lyrics to every single song in all 14 of their all-time favorite musicals and won't let you tell them they're wrong. Even though they are. You'd better get out of the way if there's a mirror around because chances are they're already there and have put on 7 layers of stage makeup. Who doesn't want to look like Joan Rivers?!

The girls with perfect pitch will turn around and pull a face when you're flat, which is almost always. Wait, is she pulling a face or does she just look like that? 

The guy who walks around school playing an acoustic guitar and who annoys everyone. He has the entire KROQ music library memorized and will harmonize with you to make your warbling sound kind of cool and grunge-soulful instead of just really pitchy. 

The kids who just immigrated here don't speak English. Why are they in choir, then? Because their counselor said so or because they got lost and this is where they ended up. Either way, when they open their mouths, noise comes out. You could say they're guaranteed to be on American Idol. 

The sopranos sing (screech) the melody, meaning we are the most important part of the choir. We also read the top line of music, further proof that no other section really matters. We have the biggest egos, the highest notes, and the most obnoxious personalities.  

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